GH4 #67 Drone Strike on the jHavelinas   Leave a comment

Controllers of the Unmanned Aircraft System (UAS)

Controllers of the Unmanned Hashcraft System (UHS)

The idea emerged of crashing a hash remotely.  As a benign test, the following was tried on a semi-live hash (there’s always some prelay at the jHavelina HHH so it was worthy).  Step one was to inquire about the Mr Happy’s location on a public forum to draw attention; Happy’s is on a Wednesday so checking with the usual suspects on the Thursday before the next one would still pique the interest of a few hounds as the weekend loomed (Fatty was drawn in slightly although he probably didn’t make the connection).

First seeds

 

Next, using ‘check-in’ to place myself virtually on the way to the Tucson, Arizona airport to arrive late Friday night, I had a couple of hours before the flight I wasn’t really on was to start boarding.  I needed only ignore the replies after that (and those to subsequent postings — damn European smart phone service providers) whilst creating a believable dash around town to my old regular bars followed by a bogus trip out to the jH4 start.  Here’s the timeline:

At 12:39 Friday, I was at Heathrow Terminal 5 awaiting a plane to LAX:

2016-03-10 1239 LHR

The first reply came in around 13:55, with a few others following up to boarding time:

2016-03-11 late afternoon heathrow

 

The flight was due to leave at 3:25 GMT and arrive at 6:40 pm LA time.  This would be around 2:40 Saturday morning at G-Had Central so I didn’t update on the connecting flight until after it arrived in Tucson at 11:30 local time (6:30 GMT):

2016-03-11 2330 picking up a rental car
11:55 (6:55 GMT) checked in at Tucson International Airport with offers of liquid refreshment from TNT and 3IY less than 3 seconds after posting.

A happy surprise came in the form of another apostate, Granny Panties, offering an alternative party. The pub chase later in the afternoon had just gotten a lot more interesting. And, Granny was a G-Haddi before I even left the States so it was a real possibility the actual trail would be sabotaged, too.  He replied via my old pub map (not every bar in Tucson but all the ones I had an opinion about):

 

Tucson Bar Map

2016-03-11 late afternoon granny checks in

The pub map brought back old memories and a quick study of it helped me plan the fake pub chase the next afternoon.  Meanwhile, it would have been out of character to go straight to the hotel and then to sleep so, of course, wetting the whistle near the morning work site was necessary (Red Garter):

2016-03-11 late night at Red Garter

By 8 am Sat morning (3pm Swindon), my virtual self could be found on nerd duty at the U of A:

2016-03-12 0800 Pharmacology
Then, with work done it was time for drinkies, starting with an unannounced visit ’round to the Nugget (getting lost, of course, on the way to the Rusty Nail):

2016-03-12 1200 Golden Nugget

So, the pub crawl, virtual though it is, began with the next stop the house of God (and not, as hinted above, Schrier’s):

2016-03-12 1330 Meet Rack

 

The Nickel was my local bar and a regular shithole we would frequently frequent after the first trail I hared in the area.  But, to get there from the Rack I would obviously get distracted by the Buffet :

Meet Rack Buffet

 

2016-03-12 1415 Buff

 

I chose the Driftwood on Alvernon to keep people from triangulating (the Aviation was a much more obvious choice) but actually only pretended to go as far as the Silver Room:

Buffet Silver Room

2016-03-12 1510 Silver Room

 

 

The Mint was cocktail blocked by Danny’s Baboquivari (where I think I left some pants a few years ago):

Silver Room Bay Horse

 

Bay Horse Danny's Shooter's

 

2016-03-12 1550 Danny's Baboquivara

although my original plan included a stop at the Bay Horse (still not the Mint).  Then, Shooter’s Steakhouse seemed an obvious parking place near enough to the start to jog up:

2016-03-12 1555 Shooters

 

Missing the start is not a big deal when you can zen the trail so into the wash I would naturally go:

2016-03-12 1630 zenning trail

Shooter's zenning to Boondocks

 

And, a couple of miles later my European phone and my liver would need top ups:

2016-03-12 1655 zenning trail

2016-03-12 1830 airport

 

Alrighty, then.  There may be some fallout which I’ll update, as it happens, below.

 

Mentioned in this post either due to their participation or because it was useful:
Too Nice Tits? Tune Iced Its? (TNT)
Is It In Yet? (3IY)
Granny Panties
Charlotte the Harlot
Here To Get Laid
Didya Bite My Penis
Stella the Udderly Bi Fella
Executive Spread
I Love Fat Chicks

chatty fatty

note to fatty

replies

 

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GH4 # 66: Zero Dark Shirty (last one vs MoonrakersHHH)   3 comments

Squeal Team 6 logo

Squeal Team 6 descended on G’s (and your) humble servant for using a foot to change one T into a blob and, later, adding a directional mark to a circle.  It was the least damage I could have done intentionally to a trail that I stumbled upon almost entirely by accident.  The saddest part of this G-Had effort is that the trail was so obviously flawed that my work actually made it easier to follow. Oh, well, this had to happen someday.

The angry man in the van finally caught up to me after a few miles. I could have gone back the way I came, again, having led him along the last several miles such that he was making a menace of himself on the roads (driving in the wrong lanes, turning across oncoming traffic, etc), but I figured it was time to get it over with. After grabbing my shirt and yelling at me for a minute or two, I took out my ear buds (The Archers had just finished, anyway) to listen closely.

“It was a laugh, but ENOUGH!  ENOUGH!
“So, it WAS funny, then?” I asked, not sure I had actually heard him admit this.

He paused. “Yeah, alright, then … it was funny.” Another pause then, “look, that’s not the point. If you don’t like the way someone hashes, you should come out and hare a trail.”
“You’re right! I should start a new hash.”

“Look, we all know you’re a good runner and we know you like real ale. You should come out and join us instead of fucking about with our trails.”  I was suddenly impressed: this was a fan, and not necessarily an enemy.  Granted, he was still probably going to kick my ass but it was a happy surprise that not only could he read but that he reads my drivel.  I took an even more conciliatory — even, supportive — tone:
“And, look at you…you CAN hash when you try. You snared the hare.”
“Yeah, I snared the hare,” he spat.  Then, he reiterated how it would be better if I joined them, and that I should come out sometime to hare a trail.

“Yeah, you’re right: a new hash…I should start a new hash. Thanks, buddy,” and with that he seemed to give up, released my shirt, and I continued on my way. “Later!” I shouted over my shoulder, waving goofily.  A Radio 4 arts show was on and I decided to catch my breath with a much more sedate jog from there.

Of note, I prudently did NOT point out that he was Motor Hashing (another abomination) nor that I was wearing new shoes (at home, much later, I did a penitent shot of tequila out of one of these, much to the wife’s dismay).

The second physical assault/snaring was downtown when a middle-aged guy walked into my path off Commercial Road pointing at my shirt, scowling, pointing and saying, “I’ve got your number.”  That was disarmingly funny since there was a big number 5 on the front of my shirt and the line struck me as something Bond would say at the end of a struggle, but delivered in an accent that sounded like one of the Wurzels had taken on the 007 role.  So, it probably didn’t help my case that I was smiling gently when he grabbed my shirt.  “I want a word with you.”  “Hey, man, I don’t know you,” I said as he simultaneously pushed and pulled ignoring my outstretched palm. “Yes you do.  You’ve been mucking about with our trails.  There’s someone else here that wants a word with you, too,” he added pointing behind me.

I glanced to see an old woman* approaching whilst pointing a smart phone at us.  After a bit of heavy threat from the fellow, they both seemed to realise, at once, what they were filming constituted evidence against themselves.  Such is the curse of the modern world.

*{NOTE: WordPress has a Gramma Checker to proofread this stuff and while I don’t see why ‘old lady’ is offensive to it, it seemed happy enough with the edit to ‘old woman.’} 

Another awkward — yet still angry — invitation to join the hash followed and during the rather one-sided discussion I was able to point out that the previous guy had admitted that he thought the G-Had was funny, at first.  Again, this guy agreed but pointed out that it isn’t funny anymore.  While humour is very subjective, the votes did seem to be against me.  I awaited a well-earned slap.

Which never came; he unhanded me and I continued on my way, waving to him and his nana and promising to see them soon.

Well done, lads.  I reckon I owe these guys (and the 11 previously insulted hares) a beer at an upcoming Moonrakers (if they ever pick a pub I haven’t been to, yet).  It will need to be on public transport because I plan to be very, very drunk.

Posted October 11, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in GH4 trails

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Blocked   Leave a comment

Oh, dear.  Probably something I said:

OxH3 Twitter blockage

Posted October 3, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in GH4 news

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GH4 # 65: Bogging Down in Portishead   2 comments

 

BOGSHHH announcement

I spotted the first prelay out the window of the bus to Portishead (WHO said head? I’ll have some of that!).  Alighting at the next stop near shopping, a Tesco, I bought a large bag of flour and headed to the Windmill Inn for a pre-trail beer.

The Boggies have a lot of new marks and I was eager to try them out.  The hare must have set trail days ago because most of his marks were already dissolving so it is a good thing I came along when I did.

 

BOGSHHH markings

It became quickly apparent that I was doing the trail in reverse which is actually the best way when enhancing one.  I made sure the pack would be together by making at least 6 of the checks into Regroups (and one of the False marks, too).  Turnbacks were fun to add and so there were many as were the ridiculous ‘options.’  Losing the reverse trail for a while I soon sussed that the start HAD to go along the coastal path (and it did), so I added an extra long bit of my own, back to the point I could link back up with the hare’s trail (and signing one section, “500 MY ARSE”).

GHad vs BOGSHHH Beer Stop

As you can see, I even helped by setting the beer barrel aright and remarking it as a beer stop.  I mean, I guess it was theirs (it couldn’t have just washed in with the tide, could it?).

BOGsHHH photo in lieu of their write-up

From the BOGSHHH website…you’re welcome!

 

2015-09-09 BOGSHHH map

Ran the route in reverse and added a long bit at the end (their beginning) plus a note: 500 MY ARSE

Posted September 10, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in GH4 trails

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GH4 # 64: Mornington Crescent, London City Hash Variation   2 comments

2015-09-08 LondonCityHHH calendar

Hashers spout off all sorts of hackneyed aphorisms about their activities.  One of them is that ‘Rule #1 of hashing is that there are no rules,’ usually followed by an endless stream of other arcane, contradictory, and ridiculous rules.  It’s great fun, and it reminds me a lot of the game Mornington Crescent, nearby which eponymous tube station the London City HHH was hashing Tuesday evening.

I had already put in 10 miles on a 4-pub-stop tour of the northwest outskirts of London so I wanted to be economical and efficient with the markings but my initial exploration of Regents Park turned up nothing.  I headed to the Edinboro Castle (the venue for the hash) and found a few chalk markings — half arrows — leading away.  Chalk.  Shit, I forgot to bring any chalk and I couldn’t remember seeing a skip anywhere nearby to dig for some plasterboard to use.  Oh, well, the pub was here and I was here and so it wouldn’t be a total loss and all….

As noted in the pub write up, I was able to secure a bit of chalk from the helpful barmaid (let’s call her the lovely Samantha) by employing a double huff following a modified Landlord’s Reversal (Mornington Crescent fans, please check this strategy).  Hooray!  I couldn’t do much with the wee piece she proferred, but there are extra arrows and a decent side trail off to the Sheephaven Bay pub nearer the station allow a claim of minimal success:

 

2015-09-08 LondonCityHHH and GHad

 

 

Posted September 10, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in GH4 trails

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GH4 #NoGo: Wherefore Art Thou UK Nash Hash 2015?   Leave a comment

ridgeway nogo

With Oxford HHH hosting the UK Nash Hash and my weekly mileage averaging 60-70 per week this year, the G-Had /Nash Hash Clash was worth a go.  However, I heard they were taking the various packs to starts remote from the centralized venue which required I have some moles attend the event to clue me in; but, my helpers let me down at the last minute so I had to make an educated guess.  Hmmm…where might they start?  And, then, where might I cross paths with them?

The answer seemed obvious: the Ridgeway!  Of course!  The bid for the 2015 UK Nash Hash promoted the surrounding countryside and its natural beauty and it seemed unrealistic that they would pass up the opportunity to showcase the 5000 year old trail (talk about your prelay!) so I went on a quest to find Ball Buster trail which, it seemed likely, would cross the Ridgeway several times.  Alas, starting at Ivinghoe Beacon and working my way to Avebury I found nothing except strange chalk markings in the night (a daylight photo appears below); it was not to be.

Well played, Nash Hash Committee, well played.

white-horse

They even changed the trail markings (which were fucking HUGE)

Posted August 30, 2015 by Drunken Bunny in No Go's

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GH4 #63 Two Tutu 2222 Runs in One Year (C2H3 Falls)   1 comment

The first shot across the Cheltenham and Cotswold H3‘s bow came at their 2222nd run, the second such for the GH4 this year:

2222GO

 

Scouting the trail on the Interwebs, I spotted a suspicious gathering at the Greedy Goose on Google Street View:

Greedy Goose car park Aug 2014 Google Street View

 

The trail was easy to find and initially easy to follow and the original false trail marks easy to obliterate.  The terrain was hilly but the shiggy especially minimal before my arrival.  Hard to believe it took seven hares (7!) to set this piece of shite:

 

C2H3 2222 G-Had 7 hares

There was one point where I was nearly rumbled near a regroup marker when I was laying a long trail up to the next markers of THEIR trail.  Turns out, a family had gathered looking suspiciously like a Beer Check committee.  Hiding my flour bottle as I emerged from the wood dragging a foot through the regroup mark, I greeted the spaniels they had with them then circled the adjacent and continued my work.  As I left the far eastern corner of this map, I signed off with my remaining flour before heading to the Red Lion in Long Compton for a well-deserved beverage:

 

C2H3 2222 G-Had mapped